There was a time in my life when I was a gymnast. After several falls on the head, however, my height, bony arms, and general lack of power got the best of me, and I've hated watching and playing sports ever since. But I do love me some Olympics. Of course, when my general distaste for sports (and love for clothes) gets the best of me, I evaluate the outfits. So, here we are: The Top Five Olympic Fashion Faux Pas:
1. Kerri Walsh's Braid
Menacing and rope-like, Kerri Walsh's braid looks more like a weapon than a hairstyle. It also appears to periodically smack her in the face, making the look as impractical as it is ugly. I can only assume that she's been wearing her hair like that her entire volleyball career, and in all of her success, doesn't want to change it. However, she's obviously proven herself as a talented and attractive person, and it's time to move on and lose the braid. I think she could cut it for a cuter ponytail like Misty's, or she could certainly keep the length and do some sort of tight bun.
2. Serena Williams' White Outfit and White Bra
White bras do not go under white tops. You have to wear one that is the color of your skin tone. While all of these athletes have great bodies, the girls should stay under wraps, and Serena was unnecessarily exposed.
3. Venezuelan Indoor Womens' Volleyball Uniforms
These women wore loose, full-coverage tank tops and bikini-cut bottoms. At first, they looked alarmingly uncovered, but--when you think about it--compared to the beach volleyball uniforms, they're pretty conservative. The problem with Venezuela is that their uniforms are unbalanced. If the team felt as though they had more movement in small bottoms--I hate to say it--but they should have worn tighter, shorter tops! The sleeveless t-shirt balances out with shorts...so as a result the Venezuelan women looked as though they forgot their shorts. You just have to go big or go home; there is no half-way in the Olympics.
4. Scrunchies in Women's Gymnastics
Why why why are scrunchies OK in gymnastics? They are not ever acceptable anywhere else, and haven't been since 1993 (?). I know they're not for some reason required, because there were a few girls with regular hair bands. (Shawn Johnson had a ribbon or something, which is probably equally as dumb, but whatever.) Also, as a sidenote, scrunchies are just generally reminiscent of the third grade, and did not help the Chinese girls' cause of trying to look 16. (Neither did the body glitter and star hairclips, but again, not my point right now.)
5. ....And the Gymnastics Uniforms in General
I don't really get the shiny, hologram-inspired fabric they use on these uniforms. Obviously it's flexible, since they wear them, but it just looks platicky and stiff to me. And cheap. I feel like that crap is for 9-year-olds' jazz costumes, hookers, or Halloween. The long sleeves look restricting to me too. I feel like they should do either a sleeveless or at least a 3/4 length sleeve. Not for their comfort, obviously, but just so they look comfortable to me at home on my couch.
