In Defense of Kate

"One day my kids will Google me." - Jon

So, lots of Jon and Kate drama lately. Did he cheat on her? Did she cheat on him? Are they exploiting their children? La la la. Though we see a lot of their lives, we certainly don't have all the facts. We do know, though, that Jon was out late with significantly younger women, and he also issued a statement conceding that he behaved irresponsibly. We also know that Kate can be bossy on the show. But, really—looking only at what we know to be true—Jon's actions are worse right now. I wonder why Kate is taking so much more criticism. In a sarcastic recipe, one blog suggests, "1 cup of kindness towards your husband." What Would Tyler Durden Do? titles an article, "Everyone Really Hates Kate," and they continue on about how she isn't hot enough to cancel out her attitude. All of this bothers me because the negative emphasis is on two things: her Type A personality and her appearance. The personality thing is silly because many people are Type A. Sure, she (and others) have things to work on, but the existence of this kind of person is just not alarming to me. And then we have her looks. It just doesn't matter if you like her hair. And it especially doesn't matter if she wears a bikini. Jon is passive-aggressive. He went snowboarding in Utah on Kate's birthday. It feels as though the consensus is that Kate is a shrew with bad hair who deserves to be cheated on because she can't shut up. On top of unearthing multiple stereotypes about women, this is unfair. Kate's words may be mean, but so are Jon's actions, and I thought actions were supposed to be louder.

That said, I don't mean to beat Jon down—just level him with Kate. I've always been a fan of the couple. When I turn on the show, nine times out of ten it's an episode I've seen. Possibly twice. The kids are cute; Jon and Kate always seemed generally normal. It's a look into a life that is a little bit like yours, but simultaneously another world. J&K+8 also works as a reality show in that it feels—whether or not it is—more like a window into their life than generated drama. We can side with Jon and Kate too because—unlike the Octomom and the Duggars--they weren't trying to have a huge family. Fertility treatments are a legitimate way to get pregnant, and they rarely lead to such large batches of kids. We don't have indication that Kate was implanted with too many eggs, like the Octomom, and I won't judge her decision to go through with the full pregnancy, since on principle I'm not about to judge any woman's ovarial decisions. (Except Mrs. Duggar's decision to not use birth control. That's a terrible idea.) And again, the kids are adorable.

The J&K+8 season five premiere brought in 9.8 million viewers, including myself. The opening jingle used to start with Kate laughing in Jon's arms, and she says in voice over, "It all started with the two of us." This season opened with pictures of Jon and Kate in opposite corners of the screen, and photos of the children filled in the space between them. Also, instead of opening with a kid laughing and saying, "On this episode of Jon and Kate +8!" the show opened with alternating shots of Jon and Kate talking separately to the camera about their relationship and the uncertainty of the future.

It's a sad story, and the question remains of whether or not J&K should continue with the show. At first, having a skeleton camera crew around for much of their lives didn't distract the family too much. They seemed to ignore it, having too many other things to think about. But now that there are paparazzi, tabloids, bodyguards, and book tours, there's a chance the kids are on their way to therapy. While I initially wondered why Kate didn't immediately cut the cameras, now I think she worries it will land her back home full-time where her relationship with Jon will most likely end. It's sadder still because she has four seasons of television on DVD chronicling their life together. Finally, I think she wants to resolve their story in public. Everyone knows Kate is no quitter, and I think she'd like to finish what she started. As for the kids, I think so far they're fine. They seem loved and cared for and they get to go on fun trips. And so, I wish Kate the best, and I hope she has a happy ending. She should be warned though, if things do work out (for real) everyone will still assume the resolution was fabricated by producers. It's probably too late to win that one, but maybe she can still keep her family together.